A change in direction from psychic to spiritual

Last year I joined a meetup group that discusses and explores metaphysical topics such as astrology, energy healing, divination, etc. My sister is fond of calling it my “cult”.

Going into the end of spring I stopped attending the meetups as my focus has been more on exploring my spirituality rather than my psychic abilities. Yesterday I received an email from the organizer of the meetup group. She sent a message out to the members of the meetup regarding a change in direction she is considering.

This direction appears to be influenced by a spiritual challenge she has been having. She feels there is merit to engaging in acts kindness and compassion, yet she is jaded by not seeing the kindness returned… the more you give of yourself, the more they take.

My first impulse was to email her and address each statement with a bulleted well-thought-out answer. If the answers were adroit enough she could see the sunshine beam through the rain clouds. She would be mesmerized by each flower and each raindrop. Seeing criminals arrested would magically transform into puppies playing.

Again, my answers were perfectly designed for me. For the person that has lived the exact same life path as myself.

Near the end of her message the meetup organizer stated that she wanted to explore these issues through a change in direction of future meetups. She would like to see us explore topics such as morality, healing, karma. I am currently at deliberation as to whether I want to attend. If I go with the intention of “imparting my wisdom unto all those in attendance” I’m fueled by hubris, directing the mismatched minister to address life paths that I have never traveled, that I myself am not on.

I have to be careful not to make the assumption that our meetup organizer is “broken”. I would do well to remind myself that because she seems to be crying out, she has not asked for any help. I do not need to attempt to rescue a person that has not asked to be rescued. It’s akin to seeing a person flailing about in the lake so you go in to save them from drowning, only to find out the person has an odd swim stroke. I need to put my own oxygen mask on before attempting to help someone else put theirs on.

All in all, her words are admittedly compelling. I am curious to see what direction these future meetups do indeed take. I do like the direction she is proposing for the course of this meetup group. I may not become the member with perfect attendance, but I may just attend a meetup here and there. I will bring my presence without the intention of saving anyone or trying to achieve enlightenment. So I am going to take the advice of my own personal minister, as he often tells me:

Expectation often breeds disappointment.

The mind-body or the body-mind?

A few days ago a member of one of the forums I frequent rebuked the notion of the mind-body connection. They dismissed the idea that a person invites their own physical ailments unto themselves due to their mental state or their karmic debt, as they put it. They said that any idea that claimed physical maladies, discomforts, diseases and such are anything other than circumstantial and outside of their control was without compassion. In their mind it was tantamount to saying a person deserved his or her own pain.

Personally, I am “one of those” who subscribes to the concept of the body-mind or the mind-body. So for a moment I entertained the notion of sliding my podium to front and center of the stage to defend my belief system, to fill out the card that falls from the magazine pages and renew my subscription to the mind-body concept. But I thought better of it and decided my belief system did not need defending, nor did theirs need to be “clarified”.

So of course in the midst of all this an annoying ache has taken residence in my shoulder. It keeps sending its signals of medium discomfort a short skip and a hop to the brain above. The signal is more like a tap on the shoulder (oddly enough) indicating me to pay heed to this idea I was so willing to defend, of the physical ailment being an indication of a mental state.

So online I go, traipsing around the internet looking for information regarding the metaphysical representation of shoulder pain, what mental condition this symptom is indicating. So what’s the general consensus? Carrying the weight of the world.

I manage to shrug it off, ignoring the twinge as I do so. Doesn’t really seem to apply to me.

Ahh… this is where it gets interesting. This is where I find I have been sleeping through my own sermons that I spout off to other people. In my sermons about the mind-body I have stated that the body is using another means of communicating our issues to us when we can’t seem to get it through our thick skulls. It’s analogous to being told a message while our ears are ringing, so another attempt at delivering the message is made through written letter.

This is what makes physical pain so frustrating. I wouldn’t need the pain if I just “got it” in the first place, right? Of course I’m going to deny the interpretation. Think, David… think. Am I carrying the weight of the world? No, I’ve been pretty easy going as of late. Not feeling any pressure. Not taking things personally…

And therein lies the issue. If I look hard enough, I can see the times people have frustrated me, but here in the gym of spiritual growth I’m trying to lift more than I have worked up to. I’m trying to “allow” people to be frustrating and saying “it’s okay for them to be how they are”… and it actually is! The problem… it somehow doesn’t seem to be okay for me to be frustrated with people. So I carry that weight. I carry the weight of their expressed angst. I do it with a smile when it’s straining the crap out of my neck and shoulders. Or perhaps it’s a case of repetitive stress syndrome from continually shrugging off the behavior of others that I would tend to find difficult to tolerate.

Bingo.

Back to the gym with my spirituality. Let’s work on that shoulder.

The meaning of this blog

A few years ago, fueled by a mix of ennui and curiosity, I decided to get ordained. Online.

I did a Google search, found ULC‘s website, put in my name and email address, and clicked the Submit button. I received an email stating that I was officially ordained.

So now I’m a minister. So what do I do with that? I can officiate marriage ceremonies. I’ve actually officiated one and am due to do another.  Okay… what else? Preside over funerals, I suppose. Not hoping to be asked to do that anytime soon…

Okay, that leaves me with preaching. Ministering. And preach about what? I do believe I continue to have insights, beliefs, convictions, and revelations that are worth sharing with a great many people. In fact, my insights, beliefs, convictions, and revelations would be perfect for any person that has had my experiences. Each one of them. Every single one of the experiences that I have had.

So basing it on that criteria I have found my congregation. My flock. I have found who is meant to receive my spiritual guidance, my message, my sermon…

Me.

I am the minister of myself.