These last several weeks I’ve really been looking forward to going on Vacation this month.
Here’s the thing… although I am very excited to be going to Vegas and doing our Vegas thing, that’s not been the focus. What I am more so looking forward to is having a week off from work.
When you work for a school district supporting technology the beginning of the school year is the busiest and most stressful. The stress is due to the myriad of emergencies and urgencies that come with educators who are once again thrust into the working life and the energies of nearly 30 young people at the flip of a switch. Meanwhile the switches that power on some of the computers are unresponsive, or the machines are not on speaking terms with the rest of the network, or some other boycott of appropriate technological behavior on the computers’ part after having been ignored for two straight months.
So the beauty of my tensions and aches and irritability is being able to blame the nature of the start of the school year and the stresses that accompany it. I have been given a blank check of blaming, pointing, and accusing and I’m cashing it all over town. But I’m just now realizing that my checks are being returned for insufficient funds and tacked up on the wall of my own self-examination. I’m being banned from the store until I make those funds right. I am no longer allowed to patronize the shop until I create a positive balance in the bank of my own accountability. The blame game is costing me more than I am spending through insufficient funds.
I’m teetering on the front edge of a cold, where my sinuses are tossing and turning in their sleep. The great thing about not feeling well is that it gets to tag out the feeling of being overwhelmed at work and it now gets to jump in the ring of victimhood. Now it’s no longer stress that is making me irritable, it’s being on the edge of getting sick. My disposition can no longer be blamed on the stresses of work, now it can be blamed on the stresses of not feeling good physically, with the underlying theme of “being overdue for a vacation”.
So the preacher loves to extoll the virtue of being in the moment while I dismiss the sermon by mentally being in Vegas. In the myriad of choices on which to focus I keep reaching in and pulling out work stress. I have a great job, a fantastic marriage, a loving family, and overall good health. What I really need is a vacation from my tendency to focus on what I consider stressful and instead focus on my blessings.