I got to be snappy today.
Not through the display of my wardrobe selection, nor through the spring in my step. I got to be irritable and snappy at the very beginning of my workday.
My workday began with a bit of a jolt. I was not ready for it. I was not ready to be thrust into my workday, but I was. My workday was jabbed into my face while my eyes were only three-quarters open. I was to deal with a dangling participle of a problem left over from the end of yesterday’s workday. My attempt at getting the other party to take a quick step backwards in time for a do-over of a proper morning greeting was futile.
This time there was no expectation for my normal alacrity. Not even from myself. I grumbled and snipped and snarled. I dealt with the issue and re-dealt with the issue until it was resolved. My aggravation, however, was not. I carried my acrid disposition a bit further into the morning.
But I didn’t like it. I didn’t like coming across as a grump or grouch. I was beyond all that after all, wasn’t I? Where was my own personal advisor? There were no words of consolation. There were only bits of notes jotted down that I glanced through, little axioms that always sounded good from atop a horse, a really high one, but this morning only sound like consolations formed of vapor.
I knew my attitude was my choice. I knew the person I dealt with earlier was operating from a pretty standard position and it was ridiculous to expect them to behave any differently. Even so, this person had not developed the prerequisite mind reading skills to ascertain that I was not crisp enough to deal with a full frontal assault in the morning without having been given the appropriate amount of ramp-up time.
Yet all the cliff notes from my personally developed self-help seminar I often attended in my head were falling on deaf ears. I was cranky. I did my best to not take it out on the contributing party, but my disposition was apparent. But then a moment of beauty befell me. I embraced it. I gave that porcupine a big bear hug. I opened the front door of my emotional housing and allowed that mood to step inside without even insisting it wiped its feet.
I was cranky, I was human, and I was okay. I loved myself for that moment of shortness. It was not my standard demeanor by any means, and knowing that made me embrace it even more. The moment would soon pass. I would not hold it against the other party, and I wouldn’t hold it against myself. I don’t have to be perfect. I just have to be.
So for that moment I got to be snappy. And that moment passed. And all was still well with myself.